The Clunker Classic 2003

    We got there on the Friday with my Ma and Pa who were expecting a proper event with marshalls and all that grown up stuff and were puzzled why I was going to ride my chopper (with his super beefed up fork). I had made a trophy for the 'best mechanical' ie the best bike wrecking cedric wanted me to ride the tall bike so I would win it. Brat!! Ha! (I will send you a copy of the trophy).

    Walking through town with my Gal; a car stops and this guy says are you chunkolini. Yo!!! I have arrived.

    Come race day riding round the camp site I bent my super strong new fork bunnyhopping my bike Ha! which fucked the headset I felt the threads strip with a click ha! see photo 5 for straightening them. Most of the folk were on cruisers and delivery bikes one other chopper from BikeHotrod. Cue grudge match.

    Photos 1+2 assembling on the street (note the pig ugly Giant recumbent thing)

    Then came the 'ride' up the hill, 4 miles of it!! I rode further up than anybody else to within half a mile of the top when the rocks got to big. I was most impressed that a chop could deal with this type of stuff, a good omen I thought.

    Photos 3+9 show the climb, twer a bastard!! in that heat. Strange observation, Britain is having a thing called a 'summer' with all this blue stuff in the sky and this big shiny thing; weird. Do you get them in America? Photo 9 is that Boy smoking reefer? cant be.

    We pushed on to the top. twer a bastard. At the top we had a picnic (mostly liquid). Then the action started.

    A Le mans start run, 30 yards to jump on the bikes and yyeeeehhhaaaaaar kill kill kill. Chunkolin overtakes several folk, learns how to slam through a boulder field and ruts standing up. A definite contender, then THWOCK!!! he hits a boulder and KERTWONG his fork collapses. Bugger says our hero. And is left with a three and a half mile walk through the woods (and meets his girlie looking for her poor injured man aaaaahhh). We were delayed.

    'Brad on the attack' and 'Chris says Yo' are the only action shots, you cant see but the seat stays on brads bike had collapsed leaving him to stand up all the way down. I wandered by as they were rescuing Chris (US airforce) from the ten foot drop he had flown off he was concussed but carried on down. A good performance

    Photo 10 shows LoneBiker from bikeHotrod making his dramatic entry on his chop, note the flat tyre.

    Photos 7 and 8 are campsite stuff, 7 shows Charlie of Clunker league on Tallmartins High wheeler . A killer, people really rode those things whoah! I tried, the bastard tried to kill me. I jumped on, sat on my plums and screamed as I collapsed to the floor, bike-1, RatPatrol-0.

    Photo 8 is jared of Clunkerleague on Kerbstomp, note the 1ton steel frame linked to a motorcycle fork! one heavy bike!!

    Last photo is M23 eating supper. Cool.

    All in all a highly successful weekend. I cant wait for next year! I see a purpose built assault bike and an award for the best injury for chunkolini.

    Take care of yourselves, Chunkolini.