A Report from the UK Chopper Owners Rally

What a strange event, 200 people worshipping a long dead bike in a field. Did you get these beasts in the states? see photo 6, the sprint version almost unrideable drop bars on a 'chop' weird. One of the most valuable models cos anybody with half a brain ripped off the drops. My junior bro had one, as kids we lobbed it off a bridge. Now worth £1500 !!! I'm off to buy an aqualung.



It was a wonderful event we went unsure what sort of weirdos we would have to put up with, but Tall Martin convinced me that it was worth it, see photo 1, TallMartin and his brother now known as VincentCuttlefish. Tallmartin is now our northern rep and Vincent is his henchman. The trail gets longer, pass word on to the RatKing. Brief biographies of our latest recruits. They are both products of the 'It's tough oop North'' skool of life, having grown up eating coal and stinging nettles. They are true 2nd generation Rats, Mr Cuttlefish owns and survives by running a scrapyard; a connesieur of fine trash. Martin is just mad.In the photo they are surrounded by about a quarter of the junk they bought to the event to sell. They have a fine approach to commerce, more into satisfaction to the customer than bread in their pockets. It is funny watching somebody worshipping an apparent piece of junk. Cool.



Photo 2, a segment of the grand parade, I gave up counting at about 80 bikes, look at the age range of these folks, there was three generations of one family, again Cool.

We milled around all day and were quickly accepted which was a surprise as they semed such a conservative crowd, there was a queue to ride our bikes all day and night, and a lot of more 'professional interest' I think we may have sowed the seed of a splinter movement, and you may be hearing from some of these people. Cant wait to go next year and see how many freak bikes have been born as a result of our heroic infiltration. We came we saw we conquered.



Photo 3, then it got dark. They have seen nothing like this before, and still no angry reaction. One comment was 'that was a good performance' response ' we weren't performing, we were acting normally'. It is cool to crawl out of the tent to hear ' Chunkolini we love you' or to get your hand shaken by some old geezer you have not even spoken to.



Photo 4. Just as 'they' had gotten used to us aaaaaaagh, It's BikeHotRod aaaaaaaaaaaagggghhh. A Demo of their rocket assisted take off and drogue brake sadly I missed the drogue (bit bigger than a pocket handkerchief) the motor is from a model aircraft and about 4" long. Very professional display I think some folk thought it was real. Or was it real? your call. Cedric thinks they are real and wants to join. Hmm a turncoat.



photo 5. Then it was the UK's first mass roller derby as pioneered by SCUL. A length of ass wipe round the neck (unused) winner is the last one retaining the scarf. No biting, gouging or scratching. Highly reccomended. Also a good workout for bikes and people.

People were confused but amused. And they noticed us which cant be bad. There are more photos if you are interested.

Speak to you soon, Chunkolini.