chicago critical mass
st. ratrick day ride, march 16, 2002

Saturday's Rat Parade Brigade was a smashing success! As St. Patrick rid the Emerald Isle of snakes, we paid homage to our bastard patron, St. Ratrick, by exorcising autos from our fair city. To wit:

- As the Rat Patrol approached the parade ground proper, an ex-oil company executive and current chief warmonger was seen fleeing the festivities, undoubtedly fearing our righteous wrath. You'll be glad to know he took with him a large limousine, as well as a whole entourage of noisy, polluting iron boxes-- Good riddance!

- In recognition of the Rat Patrol's many contributions to Chicago civic life, the kind parade marshalls twice excused us from participating in the procession. The constable's second pardoning of the Patrol was an especially charitable act. He undoubtedly understood the parched nature of our palates, allowing us to proceed to Cal's to quench our arid thirst.

- Rats spread the messsage of the upcoming Critical Mass ride quicker than the bubonic plague, thanks to the omnipresent billets.

St. Ratrick must have been proud!

-- mb