chicago critical mass
st. ratrick day ride, march 16, 2002
Saturday's Rat Parade Brigade was a smashing success!
As St. Patrick rid the Emerald Isle of snakes, we paid
homage to our bastard patron, St. Ratrick, by
exorcising autos from our fair city. To wit:
- As the Rat Patrol approached the parade ground
proper, an ex-oil company executive and current chief
warmonger was seen fleeing the festivities,
undoubtedly fearing our righteous wrath. You'll be
glad to know he took with him a large limousine, as
well as a whole entourage of noisy, polluting iron
boxes-- Good riddance!
- In recognition of the Rat Patrol's many
contributions to Chicago civic life, the kind parade
marshalls twice excused us from participating in the
procession. The constable's second pardoning of the
Patrol was an especially charitable act. He
undoubtedly understood the parched nature of our
palates, allowing us to proceed to Cal's to quench our
- Rats spread the messsage of the upcoming Critical
Mass ride quicker than the bubonic plague, thanks to
the omnipresent billets.
St. Ratrick must have been proud!